Women and sexual harassment at public events

by concernedwiththefuture

Women feel more alive in crowds and large parties. They feed off the energy given off by men and women. A few of these women want more, they want to be touched and become part of the crowd’s energy even if it’s sexual. They like to lose themselves to it while they are at the crowd’s mercy.  They may enjoy being physically and emotionally moved by it. It does not mean they want to stripped or groped. Yes some women like men enjoy given into their sexual needs even among strangers. Often it’s because their boyfriend insists on it and they both share the. You may have run across a few rare women who enjoy a grope but not excessively and not to the point where she does not know when it will stop and how far it will go. At a concert one time I was not paying attention and my elbow wacked a girl across her breasts behind me as she was walking behind me. I was mortified but she was laughing and seeming excited about being felt out like that. Most likely she had never been groped and this first time sensation was exciting to her and she knew it was an accident.   You have to remember the women you encounter in parties, concerts and other events who are wild out there represent a small percentage of woman overall. Even these women while they might tolerate some touching are not really seeking that

            An interesting experiment is going on in New York City were being topless is legal and a group of women are testing it out. So far no men have really bothered them, just a few get to close or stare to long. What is more telling is how the women are acting. Without being harassed one girl had the courage to ask a guy out. After that she was all excited about doing that. Why the big deal for her?  I think it was a milestone for her being comfortable topless to the point where she could entertain romantic thoughts and be a woman. I myself have no opinion on allowing women to be topless. There are some things that worry me. Will men treat female nudity as no big deal if they see it all the time? No longer will naked women strangers be seen as strippers or prostitutes, they will be customers, women you meet out in the street and may even work with. Women who support nudity do have a point that being nude should not be sexual most of the time. Look at primitive natives being naked in rain forests, the men can control themselves to leave the women alone. In Europe it was common for people to lounge out naked at parks and beaches, no men were harassing the women. Although nudity is in decline in Europe with younger people for some reason. There is this misconception among men that women if are naked in public have a double standard that they don’t want to be looked at. A good rebuttal to this is this response from the Coed Topless Pulp fiction group in New York.

 

“We’re not anti-looking, we’re anti-rudeness. We’re out in public, and anyone who wants to look at us is welcome to do so, the same as they would be if we were wearing more clothes. But if we were fully dressed, it wouldn’t be okay to walk within inches of us staring hungrily as you pass and it wouldn’t be okay to sit two feet away and stare intensely for an hour without pause–that would be rude. And it doesn’t become less rude when you do it to us when we’re topless. Look, smile, wave, say something nice if you feel like it, and keep on walking. Or sit nearby but occupy yourself with your own pursuits (reading a book, maybe!) and only glance our way casually now and again, don’t eye us like a hungry mongrel salivating over a steak. In other words, be a friendly, empathetic, normal human being.”

            So what they mean is looking for a few seconds is okay and think to yourself that she has a nice body, then move on or go about what you are doing. It does mean stare longer than necessary to see that you’re looking at breasts and not without at least a pleasant smile just to let them know want to rape them. If you feel you want to hang around these women more at least introduce yourself and be able to talk about why you are interested in them besides their breasts. They have point about any starting is rude even if its men or women, topless or not. Staring can be interrupted as you trying to intimate someone or planning to do something to them besides enjoy the view. Most people male or female have had bad experiences with people physically assaulting them after staring at them first for awhile. Think men are not capable of this? In some boating areas at certain lakes and beaches were it is common to have wild party goers with women who like to flash their breasts the men have gotten used to it. When they see a woman pull up her bikini top and flash their breasts at them they said it is like saying hi to them, not an invitation to sex or anything else. They just wave back. Not only is unfriendly staring intimidating to women it makes you look like someone who has never seen breasts before and inexperienced. Do you really want to portray that image? This same group answers if they ever been harassed or physically touched.

“No, there has never been a problem. But we don’t post the time and location of future gatherings in advance. We sometimes post saying something like, “We plan to meet tomorrow,” but we don’t say where. New York is a big place, and we’ve met in dozens of locations. And usually we don’t even post that much.

Yes, there have been some cell phone snaps. We snap back and the guys generally turn tail and flee. Occasionally a guy will sit behind a nearby bush or boulder and watch. Depending on how he goes about it, it can be annoying, but…eh. As long as he’s not bothering us, so be it.”

            This is good news for women who want to be topless but there is import thing to be learned here.  Where there has been trouble in the past it has been places that have advertised or are known for women getting naked that have trouble because they give a place and time. Some men think these assaults happen because of the male reaction to unexpected nudity when in reality it was all permeated what these men were going to do even before the events began. They were looking for trouble from the start and it had nothing to do with the women getting topless that started the assault. Another point is if you want to take a picture of someone without asking their permission are you ready to have a picture taken of you as a guy who takes pictures of naked women. Who should be more ashamed? The naked woman or the guy taking her photo without asking.

            But dealing issues with nudity is still always off, we need to look at issues that our happening now. Concerts and events combined with alcohol are creating issues with women being harassed groped in large crowds by men who feel they have anonymity in large crowd of men doing the same thing. First of all the alcohol is an excuse used by the men for what they are doing. Alcohol does not change your behavior, its exposes the real you and lets your inhibitions run wild in the open. Then there is the thought that women who expose themselves are fair game. Sometimes it gets to the point where all women become fair game. These men in their own warped minds justify by pouring alcohol over the girl or force her to drink. In their minds that makes her drunk.  If most of the girls who expose themselves are on someone’s shoulders they will try to lift an incorporative girl up as if this alone makes it okay to grope her. Women may also like going to these events to indulge their sexuality but as I mentioned before in a different way. They don’t go there to be targeted individuals to groped and harassed.  They are more passive and feed off the entire crowd. A few get excited brushing up against a swarm of people regardless if they are male or female and may even tolerate an accidental brush against their body or something else unexpected.  These types of women like the unpredictable mass of humanity. In these crowd events some women get excited to the point where they hug their girlfriends and jump around. Those types of women are feeding off the excitement around them. For those men who think, “If she likes to expose herself why can’t she also be okay with being groped? Think about what’s going on in her mind, if she lets one guy touch her then an unknown number of others would want the same privilege. She has no control on what’s going on so if she lets one person grope her it could cause a mob to overwhelming her wanting the same.  I would bet it is not the idea of most of the women who are paraded in front of crowds exposing themselves but their husbands and boyfriends. Some of these couples may do this to get each other aroused for some fun later in the night. Some of these boyfriends and husbands may just be as bad as the worst guys in the crowd by making their girlfriend expose herself and hope to see guys grope her just to get off on that. Don’t always blame women who put themselves in these situations, sometimes it’s not their idea.

            For these events and festivals there has to be rules if men and women want to engage in some sexually charged experiences. Use the rule strip clubs use, keep your damn hands to yourself and just watched. You can’t touch a woman you pay to get naked at the strip club. So what gives you the right to do it to a woman who does it for free? Even strip clubs, considered by women demeaning to women, consider it your responsibility to be accountable for your actions regardless what the stripper does.  How this rule will be enforced should be done by the men, it has been in the past. As far back as in the Old West a few brave women would go out west to sing, dance and even prostitution. These girls were outnumbered 10 to 1 in some cases, maybe more in smaller towns. These women were rarely harassed and treated with respect because the men wanted them to stay there among other things. If a man was disrespectful to one of these ladies he was either beat up or even shot. Just the fact if one of these ladies was made to feel uncomfortable was enough to earn a man doing it a punch in the face.  Those kind of attitudes lasted until recently as in a few decades ago. If the crowds around the woman can’t be controlled then the woman needs to be surrounded by people she knows or up high somewhere. Kind of like in Mardi Gras with women on those balconies.

            Men have experienced this level of harassment and sexual assault. They did not enjoy what they went through. Remember those rock stars from the 1960s that had the crazed teenage girls after them.  I never realized when seeing those videos of the members of the band just able to get away in time when the girls chase after them at the end of a concert that there could be some danger. I always wondered what would happened if those girls caught one of them. That happened to Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones when the rest of the band left him behind in a taxi in a rush to get away from a crazed mob of teenage girls. This man who is a jaded and tough rock star who has seen everything was given PSTD by these girls when they caught him and nearly chocked him grabbing his necklace. They also scratched and clawed him almost ripping his clothes off. He passed out on the street and to this day still has nightmares about it with that screaming coming from the girls. Luckily for him teenage girls don’t know what to do with a guy when they catch him. Now you understand how the toughest guy can be traumatized by a mob. The rock stars like the girls going mad for them on stage and they may like being chased occasionally but it’s a different story when they are caught. What should be learned here is that if you imagine yourself in a situation a woman faces in being groped or worse you would understand. Imagine having hands groped your penis or balls so hard it causes pain. Imagine suffocating because so many people are pressing so hard against you that you can’t breathe. Your hair is being pulled from your scalp. Someone grabs something around your neck and is choking you. You’re almost ready to faint and lose conscience. You’re not sure if they are just horny or trying to kill you. I have found a disturbing amount of men on forums who think it is sexy to have a bunch of men grope and strip a woman in a crowd. If they look at the police report they would see the majority of these cases require hospitalization from cuts, scratches and penetrations with objects, often knives. This level of attack especially happens in 3rd world countries. These men don’t seem too horny, it seems like they just hate women to do that level of violence. They could be gay and not realize it and this is a way to deal with that frustration.